Frustration has been building for a while already. Bitter and caused by a desire for something more than what any one person is offering.
To stay as friends, while definitely not the worst thing to come out of meeting someone, it does tease the question - why not more?
I am vexed. I am perturbed. I am bedeviled by the constant reminder that while everybody - everyone - has experience, has a history, has relations, has a certain piece of mind that comes with knowing that have had something specially meaningful with someone else and that they have the capacity for it again, I am the exception.
I do not have much experience. I do not have a history of fleeting summertime romances or an album of cute couple pictures on my phone. I have not had relations with any other person that amounted to anything that could even be considered anything. I do not have this piece of mind that comes from knowing that I am capable of having this specially meaningful something with a specially meaningful someone.
And I am frustrated. And it’s building.
It built so much that last night, frustration left me in drops of salty brine that rolled down my face and pit-pattered the dingy, speckled, tiled floor of an ihop restroom that needed washing anyway.
It was a pitiful display of self-afflicted suffering that left a few clean spots on the dirty floor upon which I wept.
Qiandao Lake is a man-made lake located in Chun’an County, China, where archeologists have discovered in 2001 ruins of an underwater city. The city is at a depth of 26-40 meters and was named “Lion City”. There would have been 290 000 people living in this city during more than 1300 years. Touristic expeditions are projected. A diving into Chinese Antiquity in the next part of the article.